Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
