Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I did not marry a roomba.
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