3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
