drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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