I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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