This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
