just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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