i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
