Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize