So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
love makes seman taste better
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
