The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
