She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
