A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
