Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
