i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
