The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
third nipple confirmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize