And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You did what with his pubic hair?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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