Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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