I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
