i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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