We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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