That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
