just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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