im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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