ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
