I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
