I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
