Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
