Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
