He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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