so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
