it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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