Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
