Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I am midnight drunk by noon
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
