I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
