just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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