I need help removing her.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
