do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
