The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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