hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize