and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He? As in you personified your dick?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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