It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
