I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
