my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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