Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
