so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
