I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
