well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
