Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
