So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
