I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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