I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
