He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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