It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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