Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
