You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
