Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
