Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
